Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize