Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
