I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
