We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
