just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
