if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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