Will you blow on my dice?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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