this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
