yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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