Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
