There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
