what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
