You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
