i will never coherently bang her
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
