Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
