OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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