playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
