I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
