I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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