Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
