You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
