True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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