I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
