what day is it and did you see me today?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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