TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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