Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
