Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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