Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am puke
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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