Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
