I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
