a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's always time for handjobs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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