I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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