Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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