Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
