when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
pray to the hookup gods
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
