I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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