Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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