The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
