My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
