When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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