That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize