Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
