He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Your penis caused this!
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