We're like a lot better than the average bears
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize