Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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