one two three fourrrrnication!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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