yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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