do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
tell me about the fingering
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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