how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just found puke in my bra..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
