I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
