1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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