I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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