Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My life is pants optional.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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