Sponge bath it is.
Where is the hickey?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She made me pour olive oil on her.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
