peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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