You really coming over, don't trick.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
