was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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