Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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